Wedding toasts can be some of the most memorable parts of weddings. All the tension of the wedding is over. People have a drink in their hand, and they’re making merry. Ties are loosened, and laughter fills the room.

But when YOU are the one slated to give a toast, that can make for a week’s worth of nerves. Should it be short or long? Should it be funny or solemn? Should you talk about just one of the parties, or both? How do you start? How do you finish? And so on.

If you want to give a 4 minute toast, you’ll want to find some resources to help you. But here are some thoughts to get you thinking in the matrimonial direction.

1. To marriage . . . a word that means commitment . . . to an insane asylum.

2. Getting married for sex is like buying a meal for the free mint.

3. I haven’t spoken to my wife for 2 days — she doesn’t like me to interrupt her.

4. “Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give.” -Cass Daley

5. If it weren’t for marriage, men wouldn’t know how wrong they are.

6. Women. They try to change you for years, and then they complain that you’re not the man they married.

7. “If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.” -Katharine Hepburn

Use these alone, or weave them into a longer toast. Or don’t use them at all. Just use them to get yourself thinking along the right lines. You’ll do great! If you’re a guy, you’ll leave the bridesmaids swooning. If you’re a girl, you’ll leave everyone crying happy tears.

For more interesting funny wedding toasts, visit this wedding site